Super Mario Brothers: Should be Rebooted

Domestic: $20,915,465
It hurts my little gamer heart to say this, but the 1993 adaptation of Super Mario Brothers sucked very badly. I'm not going to go into a rant because as a child, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and was excited to see pudgy Mario in real life. Then I went to the store and bought a Super Mario kite, and flew it around. Ahhh those were the days. But besides that, sometimes as a child, some things just excite you and at that phase of life, you don't really have that much of a critical side. But growing up, you look at the actual story, and then the movie, and then you ask yourself "What the (bleep) were they thinking?" Having to say bad things about this movie and feeling how I do is a clear case of Cognitive Dissonance (Whoa...college words), but I will do my best to give you all the low down.

The plot of the legendary 1985 classic Super Mario Bros. is as simple as they come, which was to rescue Princess Toadstool from the evil King Koopa (Bowser). There were multitude of worlds to go through in order to reach Bowser's castle and save the princess. It was oh so obvious that Mario and Princess Toadstool (Later named Princess Peach) had a thing going on.

Now we come to the film, where pretty much the only consistent thing is that Mario (played by Bob Hoskins)is short and fat and Luigi (played by John Leguezamo) is tall and skinny and they are plumbers. First, a meteorite hit the earth billions of years ago, splitting the Earth into two realms, trapping most of the dinosaurs in the other realm. Present day: the brothers are plumbers from New York who stumble onto a portal into Bowser's (Played by Dennis Hopper) world while chasing the kidnappers of Luigi's gf Daisy (who is really Princess Daisy). The brothers discover who this Bowser character is and try to stop him from merging the realms together again through Daisy. Daisy is the princess of that dino world and her father has been transformed into a gross toadstool. Yoshi is trapped as well by Koopa and is freed by Daisy. In the end, Mario and Luigi face off against Koopa who has turned into a large T-Rex. They were able to dizzolve Koopa into a vat of goo in the end.


Where do I begin? First, Koopa never takes a human form, that's just wrong. Daisy is a real character in the Mario world, but why they would choose to go with her instead of Peach is beyond me. I understand trying to switch some things up to make it unique and relate it to the real world, but it all seemed a little sloppy to me. Yoshi didnt need to be in the movie at all. He really didn't do anything and im pretty sure the movie would have gotten along without him. The earth never split into realms and Bowser is NOT a T-Rex. That was just a bad job on their part. All the graphics technology they had and they couldn't create something that looks like the actual Bowser? I call foolishness. Some of the consistencies were the koopa troops and the walking bombs. Oh, and that Mario was fat and short and Luigi was tall and skinny (Did I say that already?)

I understand modernizing for the effect of relation to the audience, but it didn't work, at all. I think that in today' world, with enhanced technology, they could redo Super Mario and turn it into the film that it should have been with all the correct characters and story plots. I'm not saying that there can's be some subtle changes to enhance the story for the viewers, but just not so much that it becomes unrecognizable to the public. Little known fact, both Hoskins and Leguezamo consider this film to be the worst movie they have ever done in their career. Go figure!

There, the deed is done! ..I'M SORRY MARIO!!!